I am Sivakami, a 16-year-old girl from Attappadi in Palakkad district. It’s been almost 8 months since I joined Blossom. When I started, I couldn’t read or write in Malayalam, my mother tongue. I used to be a good student until the 7th grade, competing with my classmate Gokila, who was the top student. However, things changed, and I don’t know what happened.
My father has been struggling with alcohol addiction, and during the Covid lockdown, his drinking got worse. Now, he drinks every day, spending all the money he earns from his labor job. This puts a burden on my mother, who works in a spice estate from 7 am to 7 pm. I remember since the 8th grade when Covid broke out, my father’s nightly quarrels kept me awake all night, making it difficult to focus at school. When I fell asleep in my classroom, teachers accused me, and classmates teased me. I was losing all my self esteem. The situation get worst, and my father threats to suicide to mother to get money to drink. When she denied, he started borrowing money from others and it became a regular occurrence. People would stop me on the way to school, asking for money, which my father borrowed and sometimes using harsh words. I felt uncomfortable and ashamed to leave my house. I was frequently absent from the class and spent whole days at home with fear of money lenders. All these experiences led to me losing my education and becoming illiterate. The trauma still affects me.
Some day my mother calls the Blossom hostel, sharing her hardships and helplessness, making my heart ache. My brother now works in agricultural labor to support my mother, and my grandmother also contributes within her health capacity.
At Blossom, I find peace and happiness. Surrounded by friends, games, and laughter, I hardly have time to dwell on the sadness. Now I can read and write, and I’m preparing for my eleventh-grade public examination. My focus is on passing twelfth grade, though I’m unsure about what to do next.
